I’ve been trying to find the words to describe the woman who the biggest inspiration in my life, but fell short today. I could go on and on about how I miss my mother and how much I wish that she was here with me, making plans to come to my graduation, to watch me walk down the aisle and accept my diploma, to hug me and tell me how proud she is, but I won’t do it. Not this year.
My mother has played such an influential role in my life since her passing—- she was a major reason I went into Women’s Studies, why I became so close knit with estranged family, and why I’ve become who I am today. She’s been a posthumous beacon for me and I am POSITIVE she is guiding me through the trials and tribulations of life as my guardian angel. Now I have a problem with organized religion, but I do believe in spirituality, because I know all the family I’ve lost are looking down on us and guiding us as we make decisions that can change our lives (when I say us I mean my whole family).
Now even though today is a sad day for me, it has given me motive to become reflective of all that has occurred since these 4 years have passed. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve become close knit with estranged family members. Growing up, we were all so disconnected, and there could be many reasons on why this happened, but one thing that’s for sure is I couldn’t say 4 years ago that I would be traveling to Miami to visit my family there or plan events for Puerto Rico with cousins I hardly knew growing up. It’s such a blessing to be able to have so much support from family who you assumed growing up didn’t care. I am so grateful and appreciative of them and wanted to thank them for the love and affection they’ve shown me.
To my mother:
You have given me the necessary tools to become a phenomenal woman. I hope you know that I carry you wherever I go. You are my spirit, my drive, and my motivation to be successful. I love you, always and forever.